SILENCE

Whenever I close my eyes

Your ghost is staring back at me

I’m trapped in a net of my own lies

And you’re all I see,

And as war falls out into motion

I can’t believe what I’ve begun

I stare out at the scarlet ocean

And can’t comprehend what I’ve done,

And I hear the whispers fly around on the street

My own friends look at me like I’m a stranger

Surrounded by people whose eyes I can’t meet

And everyone tells others I’m a danger,

And I remember your eyes that night

Full of disbelief that I wouldn’t pull through

In the middle of that bloodstained fight

And I didn’t speak up for you,

I watched in cold silence

As they pinned you against a wall

Your last act of defiance

And then watched your lifeless body fall,

I know that begging for forgiveness is no good

There’s no way for an apology

But if there was a way to make it up, I would

Anything to say I’m sorry,

There’s too many secrets that remain unspoken

There’s too many lies formed of fear

There’s too many promises that’ve been broken

But all of them will be burned down here,

And all of those things that I did wrong

All of those lost fights

All of those times I couldn’t be strong

They’ll come pouring out tonight,

All of my darkest secrets that hold me together

Listen if you dare

They’ll ring inside of you forever

Turn every dream into a nightmare,

And my legend will come back alive

Once again on this battle line

Put all I have into full drive

And everyone will hear my voice this time,

I can’t believe I never told you

I can’t believe I walked away

But now I know just what to do

This is what I didn’t say

WOLFCALLS

THREE STEPS TO GET OVER YESTERDAY

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via Daily Prompt: Together

The funny thing about when someone you love dies

Is how walls build up over severed ties

And nothing makes the pain go away

And there’s always three steps of trying to get over yesterday

The first step is the faking

Never happened so you’re not breaking

Keep lying to yourself about how you feel

You keep saying this isn’t real

Second step is when denial splits apart

The weight of the world slams down on your heart

You slam yourself against your walls

Screaming why over and over as the tears fall

And the third step is the worst

Inside becomes too cold to hurt

There’s nothing left to be felt and nothing left to be spoken

And they think you’ve moved on but they don’t see how you’re broken

And you keep trying to chase out old promises of forever

Keep trying to stop wishing you still were together

But they took more than you thought when they left you all alone

They took away the light you once felt as you went home

Ran away with your heart’s other half

And now memories is all that you have

And they left you lying awake every night

Dreaming of going back in time to make it all right

First step is always the longest

Second step is always the strongest

Third step hurts the most

Haunted by your loved one’s ghost

And it takes a long time to bring back your fight

To let go of everything you held onto so tight

And even though you won’t forget ever

You have to accept that you’re still not together

Close your eyes, wish on a star

Get back up and cover your scars

Battle out the whispers from the crowd

About how you lost control and broke down

But when you stand over their grave

You know you’ll never regret the memories you made

Take a deep breath and turn your back

Get your whole act back on track

But you’ll never forget the promises you made then

Know you’ll never fall in love again

Because what happened before would crash down like storming weather

And you still want with every part of you to still be together

WOLFCALLS

 

BREAK YOU RIGHT 

 

I just sang a song about love that I don’t believe in

When we broke apart we never broke even

And I watch you with her and I watch you in pain

But you won’t admit for the world that you feel the same

But I’ll swallow my pride and I’ll take the blow

Because I think deep down both of us know

She’s not gonna tear you apart whenever you fight

And I promise now she’ll never break you right

And what am I supposed to do?

What I always needed was always you

What do you want me to say

When I dream of you every day?

And how can you not want things back the way they were

‘Cause I can see you’re faking a smile with her

And you say I’m crossing a line

But I see you watching me when it should be her time

And you now say anything you wanted

But the look in your eyes says you’ll always be haunted

And she’s never met a boy like you

Bet she can’t break you the way I do

She can’t make you smile for real

She can’t guess the way you feel

She doesn’t know your favorite songs

And you don’t both laugh and sing along

She doesn’t know your hopes and dreams

How you’re so much more than what you may seem

She can’t make you fall in love

Can’t leave you looking for shooting stars above

And I bet if worst came to worst

If she left you it wouldn’t even hurt

And I once upon a time you knew

That I was the perfect girl for you

And if you have a broken feeling in your chest

That burst inside when I left

Then that means that you’re not free

It means you’re still in love with me

And trust me it’s the little things that give it away

The way that I can see you’re hurting but you tell her you’re okay

So don’t say goodnight

‘Cause she’s not gonna break you right 

-WOLFCALLS

MY OWN MISTAKE

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via Daily Prompt: Mistake

Last night I stayed up too late

Wondering just how much my heart could break

Thinking that maybe all along

Since the beginning you’d already moved on

And I’d begged you for one chance

Thinking I was living a dream romance

And reality took a while to dawn

When I finally realized it was me who was wrong

And you’d left but I’d done the rest

I’d left this  bleeding hole in my own chest

I’d had a lot of hope riding on you

That you’d be the one to break through

The barrier I’ve built over myself, this wall

That I gradually began to let fall

But I should’ve left it where it was

Foolishness is what foolishness does

And I thought we could work out

But then I realized that’s not what your goal was about

You just wanted to play a few games

Wanted to watch me go through all this pain

Wanted to bit by bit break me apart

Wanted to know how far you had to go to break my heart

And I bet you’re laughing at me

About how gullible I can be

But you know what? Thank you

For showing me just what you do

Because now I know that I was better on my own

I was meant to be alone

And I don’t need anyone

In the end it was me who won

Because you’ll always need to keep playing

Running away and never staying

But now I know that I can be free

So just stay away from me

Because I’m not lonely when I’m without you

I am stronger than you ever knew

It was never really your fault it was mine

For letting you across all my lines

It was my fault that I fell for your tricks

Believing your lies to be some kind of magic

And it was my fault but now I’m awake

I know I was my own mistake

And now I’m smarter, stronger than before

I can turn my back and slam the door

And one day everyone will see you’re a fake

And I’ll watch you collapse from the weight of your mistakes

WOLFCALLS

 

GHOSTS

pushyavia Daily Prompt: Ghost

Lights go down

Too dark to see

Silence falls over this town

And I hear you calling to me

Close my eyes

Try to let you go

But I’m just living a lie

And both of us know

I’ll be haunting you

Just like you do to me

I wish both of us knew

It wouldn’t be easy

And tonight in some other place

Do you lie awake in the night?

Remembering my face

After that fight

I can’t lose you

The memories just won’t go away

A mist I can see through

Whispering the things I didn’t say

And every time the lights die

I keep thinking your name

It’s written in stars across the sky

I think I’m going insane

You’re what takes me apart

You’re what I regret the most

You’re the other half of my heart

You’re my ghost

And I wonder right now

If you’re thinking of me

If you’re chained down and how

You’ll ever get free

I wonder if you’ve moved on

If you’re with someone knew

But one thing I’ve known one thing all along

When you try I’ll haunt you

Will it be like this forever?

Constantly reliving memories?

Remembering when we were together

Then drowning in a sea?

And whispers and secrets

Go away when comes dawn

And the ghost of regret

Is suddenly gone

But when it’s the middle of nighttime

In the midst of daggers and screams

I swear I can feel your mouth against mine

Or maybe it’s just crazed dreams

I swear I can feel you at my side

Your whisper, your hands

I could run away, I could hide

And it changes nothing, I don’t understand

And somewhere in the world

You keep seeing me and you keep turning away

You try to find another girl

But I’m after you after the day

And I smile to myself, staring out at the sea

Waiting for the night to come to be your host

Waiting for you to come to me

And tonight I’ll finally be free of my ghost

-WOLFCALLS

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT I DIDN’T SAY

fall-leaf-by-munira-1

When our story had just begun

We had it all

Now you say that you’re done

Arms crossed as you lean on the wall,

Suitcases, goodbye

As you leave me behind

Breathe deep, don’t cry

But I can’t help flashing back in time,

We used to be happy, when we were together

We used to dance under the stars

We used to make promises about forever

And now you leave me with all of these scars,

You caught my attention with your good looks and charm

And we fell in love and made plans for a home

I used to be safe in your arms

And now you leave me all alone,

And now, years later, I think back to that day

When you said the dream had died

Packed up, drove away

I felt like my feelings had lied,

And I’ve been struggling, trying

To work this out in my head

But I keep telling myself half- truths and lying

And I wish for you instead,

I keep wondering- was it my fault things turned out this way?

There’s a steady stream of questions flooding through my brain

I keep thinking of things to say

But no excuse can block tides of pain,

One moment it hurts so much it burns

The next I hardly have a regret

And all in all I learn

That it won’t be long before I can’t keep this a secret,

I keep denying it all

But I don’t know what to do

Summer’s gone to fall

And I think I’m still in love with you,

Can we just reverse our tracks?

Go just a few minutes back in time

Can we just change things and  go back

When everything was good and fine?

I can’t forget how it was before

And I watch your car drive away

I want so bad the way we were

And I think I finally know what to say,

So I run after your car

Watch you stop in surprise

Because I know it hasn’t gone too far

Beyond the night there’s a sunrise,

And as you roll down your window

I know we can end up okay

So before you go

This is what I didn’t say.

WOLFCALLS

 

 

 

BACK TO NICE TO MEET YOU

broken-heart_0

Words never spoken

I’m falling

You can’t hear me calling

Leave me broken,

Close my eyes

Hold tight

Keep up the fight

Even if I can feel inside me die,

Is this really what the story of us is about?

And you say

It wasn’t supposed to be this way

But then came the fallout,

This can’t be

Our end

Not again

So this is what you tell me,

Let’s turn around all the charts

Go back in time

Balance the lines

Before we fell apart,

Let’s heal these bleeding marks

Go back to before

When we were more

Than just broken parts,

And we can go back to before that fight

We can say kind words instead

It was all just in our heads

Make things right,

And we can go back to our first kiss

Into the sunrise

With firefies

Like this,

And I’ll fix your broken heart

Look into my eyes

Ignore the lies

Go back to the start,

I can give you all I have

We can get lost in a sea

Of storms and memories

Give me your heart’s broken halves,

And we could play our song and dance

We could

And we should

Give love another chance,

You could cry tears like glittering stars

Bleed galaxies

For me

And I’d fade away your scars,

And we can go back to when we first met

That summer night

Under city lights

Before these regrets,

Before we could ever know

This breaking

And faking

And letting go,

We could go back to when you confessed

You’d been watching me across the room

Hoping I wouldn’t leave too soon

You were curious,

And go back to when I’d pushed through

The huge crowd

All too bright and too loud

And I’d said “Nice to meet you.”

WOLFCALLS

 

 

 

 

 

 

I PROMISE

burning_heart_by_xresch-d39k8e9

Here I am standing here all over again,

Reminded of the promise I made then,

Don’t they know it’s not really me,

But they just can’t see

Because the scars come with ties

They all link back to lies,

All the whispers in the night

I gave up putting up a fight,

Thought it’s not worth being strong,

But now I know I was wrong

Should’ve left it as it was

Because

I’m tired of causing all of this pain,

Tired of of all these bloodstains,

So I’m gonna take my secrets and tell

All ten thousand reasons I fell

I’m going to tell you my fears

What I haven’t said in years,

I’m going to do something I’ve never done

I’m going to trust someone

I’m going to be honest this time

Because I’m

Tired of hearing the judge call my name,

Tired of playing this game,

I’m tired of all these chains

Tired of putting out all these flames

Tired of paying the cost

Sick of lives being lost,

Tired of the scarlet floods

Tired of all the innocent blood

It was never meant to come to this

I promise

So now I’m telling you this secret so hold it tight

Decide if what I did is right

They’ll all think I’m a liar

Trial, wall, fire

And this is hard to do

But I’m going to tell you

What’s been killing me every day

All the things I didn’t say

Everything I never confessed

The story behind this mess

I’m going to pull on through

And now I’m going to trust you

And because I’ve already failed

Let me tell you my tale

I’m going to give you the proof

Just in case you’re brave enough to tell them the truth

-WOLFCALLS

AROUND THE WORLD

attractive-vinyl-5x6-5ft-backdrops-sun-font-b-earth-b-font-font-b-surface-b-fontI’ve flown a lot of planes and been a lot of places

Sailed a lot of ships and seen a lot of faces

France to China to New York City

Around the world is the place to be

Country sunrises and Paris nights

Hawaiian beaches and city lights

Whoever said “it’s a small world” was an idiot

Its a big, big world- and I can prove it

I’ve been around the whole wide world- from L.A. to Rome

Still looking for a  place I can call home

 I’ve wished on shooting stars out in night-time meadows

Chased down the clouds wherever they blow,

I’ve seen death and sickness and fights

I’ve seen celebrations of joy lasting out the whole night

I’ve seen people laugh and scream and cry

I’ve seen so many dreams and wishes die

I’ve seen happiness and heartbreak and despair

I’ve tried to lose all my troubles in fresh mountain air,

I’ve got friends from Tennessee to Tokyo

But none of the thousands of people I’ve met know

Why I never stay- doubt I could explain it though

That moment when I lost myself in pain

Tears were falling down like rain

I couldn’t take the blame

So I changed my phone number, changed my name

 I tried to forget everything I did back then

And tried to restart all over again

Now my friends in Russia say good night,

My Canadian friends make me promise to write

My friends from Britain ask me what’s up

And my friends in Tasmania wish me good luck

Maybe one day I’ll finally be done

Settle down and stop trying to run

But right now it’s only just begun

I’m still free and wild and young

Because right now I can’t be done yet,

There’s still adventures calling and I’ve got a one way ticket

So around the world is still my home

With a couple thousand friends to remind me I’m never alone

 WOLFCALLS

WINTER WOLF

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It was summer when we first met,

And there was the most blazing heat that I’d felt yet,

What could’ve happened- who knows?

But then you up and left and the summer froze,

It was all just a gamble- just a roll of the dice,

But I didn’t count on getting lost in this ice,

Buried and freezing in a raging snowstorm,

Nothing and nobody could keep me warm,

I thought never again could something be right,

And then I heard a wolf’s call sound in the night,

Slowly I pulled myself up from the frozen ground,

And my only goal was to follow the sound,

And I wouldn’t let this ever happen again,

So I followed the wolves and became one of them,

So I became a creature of strength and defiance,

Brilliant eyes watching from the winter silence,

And I got everything back on track,

And then one day you came back,

And you said “This time let’s do it all right,”

But all I could feel was the freezing cold night,

And I knew that it wasn’t happening this time,

Leaving me all alone had you across that line,

And you said we’ll always fall back together

But I didn’t want to do that forever,

So you said you were sorry, But I turned away,

I’m a winter wolf now-

Because you made me that way,

And as at night I watched the stars,

I wondered how I came so far,

I don’t rely on anyone and I wonder how,

I could be all that much stronger now,

And when the full moon makes my heart start to pound,

This new wolf makes the perfect sound,

And even when you send me problems from all around,

I pretend they’re just other wolves that I can take down,

Being a wolf forever is what I decide,

And you’ll see me when a blizzard strikes from outside,

And if you ever get trapped all alone and the snow starts to fall,

Just follow my voice-

The winter wolf’s call

WOLFCALLS